Last week was slow, with all of my rehearsals getting shitcanned for one reason or another. So, as a result, I was a good American, watching some teevee and taking in our alleged national pastime. In any event, I was unprepared for what I saw, and what I saw was the Rally Monkey.

Perhaps I should explain. About two years ago, the powers that be in Anaheim, CA started showing a video clip of a monkey on the big screen when the Angels were looking to, duh, rally. As the team has started to become successful (they won their first pennant this weekend), the monkey has become a hit. People bring stuffed monkeys, they dress up as monkeys, dare I say it's a zoo? And there are rules. Apparently, the monkey can't wear a hat, it can't come out before the seventh inning, and then only when the Angels are either tied or down, and there's a man on base. Or something.

I'm completely fascinated by this. A rally monkey! This transcends just baseball. Sunday morning, I was playing a four-hour gig outside in the 40-degree weather for the Chicago marathon. It was brutal. A rally monkey would have helped, not to mention its benefits to the runners! Then, last night, I got stuck waiting outside Metro for a show, because the equipment had arrived late and sound check ran over. What could have helped that situation? A rally monkey, of course.

The possibilities are endless. Think of it as The Tao of the Rally Monkey. There could be bracelets and signs that ask "What would the Rally Monkey do?" You want to galvanize anti-war protests? Bring the econony out of the doldrums? Place your faith in the rally monkey, he gets results. The Angels are in the World Series, do you need any more proof?