I quit on my soccer team last night. I absolutely abhor the notion of being a quitter, and yet I couldn't bear to continue. This is weird for any number of reasons, but I don't feel bad about it. Everyone on my team seemed to forget how to actually play a position, how to actually play defense, and when I got left holding the bag, I found myself getting increasingly physical in order to compensate. Neither of these trends could end well, so I just removed myself from the equation. It wasn't any fun, and I could have hurt someone. Plus, we had so many non-roster players "filling in" (and don't get me started on that) that my absence didn't hurt from a playing time perspective.

There's a lesson to be learned there, or maybe I'm just being overly introspective as we rapidly approach the season of resolutions. I get this feeling that I'm more of a passive observer of my own life. On the one hand, I will sometimes enjoy the ability to endure the proverbial speed bumps on the proverbial road of life without getting too flustered, but I'm wondering if this emotional detachment is healthy. Friday's outburst makes me think that I need to let loose every once in a while. Some of it may be related to the fact that most of my drumming as of late has been fairly routine. I'm not pushing myself like I would when I had a rehearsal space, and I think that the absence of that kind of release is taking it's toll on me. This is making me think, as I think I mentioned earlier, that I need a day job so I can rent a rehearsal space and just play for me more than I'm doing now. In the meantime, I'm going to start getting to rehearsals earlier so I can stretch out beforehand.

As usual, this is amidst a jumble of things going on here and there. There have been a bunch of small positives in the last day or two, marred only by the game last night. Perhaps most notable, or most notable and fit for public consumption, is that I'm suddently becoming a songwriting force in Lindie's band. A few weeks back, I wrote what is quite possibly one of the better things I've ever come up with, and it's actually something that would work in the band. Then I had a fragment of a chord progression that I showed to Kevin the other night, and he really dug that as well. So the musical development continues, in spite of the abject lack of practice lately.

Originally, I was going to say something about The Two Towers, but that looks like it'll have to wait.