I think the advantage of having a birthday within a couple of months of New Year's Day is that it gives me this two month window to start thinking about what the hell is going on in my life. I have this tendency to "classify" my years, at least my adult years. Sometimes it will be a year of growth, a year of reflection, a year of transition. Yeah, it plays like the intro to Babylon 5, but it's what I do.

Last year, which concluded in the personal sense on Friday, was either a year of transition or a year of regrouping, a marshalling of forces for what looks to be a year of tremendous opportunity. Which all could be euphemisms for the fact that I still have no job, and in about three months, could be facing an unprecendented lack of funds. Or it could mean that this is the year I finally do things that really mean a lot to me. That seems a little overblown, because I've been able to carve out my own little world pretty effectively, and in particular, the time I spent working days at RollingStone.com and spending nights with both soccer and music were pretty satisfying. And I still actually enjoy research and analysis. I suppose the difference is that with my "Plan B," as it's still being considered, I'm working for myself. In the past, I never really considered myself an entrepreneur in the classical sense. My brother would talk about how he didn't like working for other people, and I would just smile and nod, as I didn't feel like I shared that sentiment.

And I don't, really. I have no problems working for other people. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a certain tingle about being in complete control of how I earn my living. Of course, that's a bit of a misnomer as well, as Plan B involved significant voiceover work, and the audition process for that isn't something that you really have control over. Except that you do, in that you dictate what they have to consider.

Maybe the better way to look at it is that this is the year that I make my mark. I've got what may be my last best shot (there's that damn B5 thing again) at being an actual rock star with Lindsie, a chance to go from a fluky fill-in gig announcing Fire games to being a legitimate sports broadcaster, and enough connections to make a quick splash into voice work. On top of that, there's the monthly column for the Fire website and the other opportunities that brings (more on that later) and the growing presence in local music from both playing and writing the newsletter. There's this sense of a tipping point, where I'll start crowing like Howard Stern about being the "king of all media."

My apologies for the excessive navel-gazing, but again, it's my site. I was actually expecting this to be a bit more morose, but pleasantly surprised myself with the optimism. As it stands, I actually wrote a song yesterday that receive the obvious working title of "Happy Birthday," and it started shaping up into quite possibly the most depressing birthday song ever. I may need to switch some of that up. That, too, was a pleasant surprise, as it was another idea that grew into a full-fledged song pretty quickly. I'm glad to say that starting to happen more frequently. Not often, but more frequently.