NP: Deftones, White Pony

If there was an overarching theme to my Christmas, it's that everyone knows that I really, really like Jon Stewart. Three copies of America: The Book and counting. It's the gift that, literally, keeps on giving.

The rest of my journey to my parents' new homestead, in no particular order:

The House
Okay, it was awfully impressive. Mostly the fact that all the doorknobs matched. I'm not sure why that struck me, but it did. On the other hand, the whole notion of a gated community in the exurbs caused great amounts of cognitive dissonance. There is no commerce. I've always clung to the notion that, wherever you are, you can always walk to the corner store and get a newspaper or a can of soda or something. Not so. You have to drive at least fifteen minues to get anywhere. And this is allegedly a selling point? Does not compute. By the end, I was cracking wise about how they were going to invade and annex other neighboring communities, and something about releasing the hounds.

Baa
Sometimes it's amusing to see how I may or may not stand out from the rest of my family, full head of hair notwithstanding. I was the only one who wore jeans to church and took exception to parts of the homily that seemed to be subliminally pushing for more church and state collaboration. I seem to be the only one who prefers Adult Swim and the Cartoon Network to 30-Minute Meals and the Food Network. Then my uncle made some comment including "Simpson" and "lawyer," and I immediately counted with "Lionel Hutz?" No one knew what the heck I was talking about. He meant Johnny Cochrane.

Geek Stuff
And I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who got text messages wishing me a Merry Christmas. On that front, I felt like Captain Kirk with a tricorder trying to find that sweet spot where I could actually get a digital network signal for my cell. I'm hoping that the switch to the new, blue-logo'd Cingular GSM network will fix that for next time.

Ancient History
With lots of focus on my older brother's childhood for the benefit of his fiancé, I was reminded of two fun facts. Despite being eighteen months the younger, I both started reading and learned to ride a bicycle before him. I plan to use that info in any toast I'm required to make at the wedding.

Me Me Me
Speaking of toasting at the wedding, apparently it will be required of me, and I have to say, I'm somewhat surprised. I don't think that's borne out of any animosity between my brother and I, but he just seems closer to his friends in Sandy Eggo than his family, or at least me in particular. I was okay with Fran-o as center of attention this time around, despite my occasional bouts of feeling like an afterthought when the whole family is gathered. This time it was entirely justified. Plus, I had my iPod and Quicksilver to keep my attention, although I was keeping a running count of how many pages I was into the latter without the appearance of an actual plot. And I still think my dad was trying to carry on conversations with me despite having my headphones on and my nose buried in a book. I don't get that, but then again, I don't get why he hates to tell us things so much ("I hate to tell ya, but..."). So yeah, I was making fun of my folks a bit -- and was gift-wrapped one when the crossword puzzle I was doing needed a three-letter word for "female" that started with "g," which my dad uses an awful lot -- but they miss that when I'm not around.