NP: Coz Music

Okay, so yesterday I was clearly fraying around the edges a bit. That'll happen sometimes. I thought the fog I was in at the end of last year would have lifted by now, but a bunch of different factors continue to weigh heavily on me, which is still better than crashing down.

Right now, I'm once again reminded of the easiest way to make me feel better about whatever bullshit seems to be swirling around me, and that's listening to music I've recorded over the last however many years. I tend to always describe myself as more of a craftsman than an artist with regard to drumming, so I don't get that weird emotional attachment or detachment to different elements of my "catalog."

As to why things don't seem to be going my way right now, it's more frustration in all fronts than anything else. The work part of work is frustrating. The social part of my social life is frustrating. The social part of work is downright maddening. My current "estrangement" from the Chicago Fire, both in terms of the fandom and the front office, is making me feel like a lot of the last eight years has been a colossal waste of time. Two out of three (four?) indoor soccer teams I was supposed to be playing on missed their registration deadlines. I'm rehearsing a lot and not gigging enough. After initial success, I hit a wall on the songwriting and recording front.

Of course, if I set my mind to it, I could string together any number of positives, but once I start down the pity party road, it's tough to reset that perspective. Which is why the music is such a strong tonic, because it's a really forceful reminder of this great stuff I've done, that's out there in the world for people to enjoy.