NP: Elvis Costello, "Watching The Detectives"

As some of you might have noticed, I made the Wall Street Journal online today. Julia did a pretty accurate job of recounting our long-overdue reunion, but I figured I'd weigh in with a little more depth from my side of the issue.

First, about my "obliqueness" in status updates and tweets. I fully recognize the power of social networks, and how they can provide immeasurable support in times of crisis, but at the same time, I'm not the type who will just go out and say something like "oh my God, I just got laid off." I'm sensitive to the perception that I'm just out looking for sympathy -- although I think that's different from "activating" your professional network to help you find a job, which is a topic for another time. Heck, I don't even have my birthday visible on Facebook anymore.

In any event, I think the way I "announced" that I had lost my job was by celebrating that I wouldn't have to use Lotus Notes any more. Now, if you were following my updates closely enough, you could probably figure out what that meant, and since I worked for an Internet marketing company, enough of my Facebook friends were colleagues for that to come through loud and clear. Same goes for the living situation, to some extent. And I realize not everyone hangs on everything I say on these networks -- or this blog, for that matter -- but talking around things almost acts as a natural filter. Some people won't have a clue what I mean, and will move on. The people that get it are generally going to be the people I want to get it. Or, as in Julia's case, get enough of it for the general outline. Most people don't need more than the general outline anyway.

(And I fully recognize the parallels to my entertainment choices, in that I like forms that don't feel the need to explain every detail, and leave it to you to fill in the blanks.)

Secondly, I do like where Julia ended up in her piece, because when we first talked about the subject, we both seemed to think that this line of reasoning would end up with something about "the end of small talk as we know it," and it's fascinating that she actually ended up somewhere quite different. The "ambient awareness" -- a brilliant description coined by Clive Thompson, I think -- afforded by social media just changes the starting point of your "warmup" interactions with other people, rather than eliminating the need for it. That sounds reasonable. As with most things, the Internet doesn't replace things as much as it transforms them.

(At the risk of getting too parenthetical, I'm putting a lot of words in quotes here, and I don't know "why.")

It is kind of funny, though, when people reflexively ask how things are going when I know they do pay attention to status updates, but that also introduces the problem of trying to differentiate between Facebook friends who process your updates, those who don't, and then people who aren't even on Facebook. Which then, in turn, goes to almost blow up that change in starting point, because the easy way to deal is just start from scratch anyway.

For the record, I wasn't out to make Julia feel "foolish" for not grasping the gravity of my situation, but then again, I don't find my situation all that grave. It just sounds that way, which may also be why I was oblique about it. In fact, when I told one (non-Facebook) friend of my situation -- that I had lost my job, my condo, and had to find a new place to live on short notice -- he immediately asked about my dog (don't have one) and my girlfriend (ditto, ladies), because it sounded like I was living in a country song.