How to be a marathoner without even running a mile

Okay, I know the notion of the holiday TV marathon, especially the New Year's Day marathon, has become sort of an old and storied tradition by this point, but seriously, this is getting ridiculous.

Starting off your 2004, you can choose between Monk (USA), 7th Heaven (ABC Family), In Living Color (FX), World's Strongest Man Competition (ESPN2), That's So Raven (Disney), The Twilight Zone (Sci-Fi), Headliners and Legends with Matt Lauer (MSNBC), Clean Sweep (TLC), Third Watch (A&E), Mythbusters (Discovery), Mad TV (Comedy Central), Punk'd (MTV), I Love The '80s/I Love The '80s Strikes Back (VH1), NYPD Blue (Court TV), Unwrapped (Food Network), Roseanne (Oxygen), Queer Eye For The Straight Guy (Bravo), Guess Who's Coming To Decorate (Style) and Big Break (Golf Channel).

I understand the need to have some alternative to college football, which I assume is a big part of how this whole trend got started, but does anyone, anywhere actually want to watch Roseanne all day? It's gotten to the point where you could try to watch one episode of every one of these marathons and not make it through the whole list, not that anyone would want to.