Back To The Bottom Of The Ocean

Dear Stargate: Atlantis,

I regret to inform you that your Season Pass has been canceled. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, seeing as how I've enjoyed most seasons of your parent show, Stargate: SG-1, except maybe for the one with Jonas. I wanted to like you, but you seem to have missed one of the main premises of a good spinoff, and that's, well, a premise. Simply doing the same thing with a bunch of lower-paid actors just isn't going to cut it.

And that's all there is, really. Stargate? Check. Crazy alien species bent on your destruction after you piss them off? Check. Alien technology? Check. Member of local humanoid race breaking ranks to help you? Check. Hero who has a problem with authority? Check. Token non-military guy? Check? Chick? Check. I mean, come on, couldn't you do better than this kind of series-by-numbers?

Then there's the small matter of acting. I'm guessing you may have had to avoid episodes on planets overgrown with vegetation for fear that at least three of your five lead characters might be mistaken for trees, and probably four. The only character with any character is -- and wait for it, this is really funny -- an ornery Canadian.

If it's any consolation, you'll have company. I'm still not sure why I started watching Star Trek: Enterprise last season, but I was quickly reminded of why I wasn't watching it before that. And I may be in the minority, but I don't even think Jennifer Garner is the hottest chick on a Wednesday night show on ABC, let alone the kind of uber-hottie every one makes her out to be, and the cruel tapestry of double-crossing and treachery that purports to be a story arc on Alias is too silly be taken seriously, let alone followed. It has it's moments, though, so at the very least, I might watch it if I happen to be home and there's no Bulls game on. Because that sometimes happens.