Unsportsmanlike

Okay, what the hell is up with ESPN and these stupid "simulated news conferences"? Reporters don't jump out of their chairs like that for the freakin' president, although I can't really picture Helen Thomas jumping out of her chair in the first place.

Seriously, I've only seen these without sound while working out at the gym or playing at Vaughan's, but good god, is there that little actual news to talk about? Or is ESPN contractually obligated to devote some amount of minutes to baseball on Sportscenter, so they have to make shit up?

I know, it's part of the ESPN conspiracy against soccer! They could be devoting more time to Taylor vs. Landon, which, come to think of it, sounds suspiciously like an episode of The O.C. But that's a whole 'nother thing.

The best part -- we're all about the silver linings here -- is that there's some actor somewhere who will now have "Reporter for Wichita Times-Picayune in ESPN Simulated Press Conference with the General Manager of the Kansas City Royals" as the lead item on their C.V.